Saturday, February 28, 2009

5 of my favorite things about "Silent Night, Deadly Night"

If you haven't seen this movie, there's either something really wrong with you, or you're really lucky. I can't decide which, and I doubt I ever will...

1) Grandpa
Need I say more? The picture says it all. Easily one of the most bizarre characters I've ever seen, I can imagine his scene giving kids nightmares, nevermind Santa Claus chopping people up with an axe.

2) Abusive Mother Superior
Yet again, the picture tells you all that I could possibly express in words. Using this angle for the shot and giving us an up close and personal looks on the boys face just makes it seem wrong, like it was supposed to have been used in a bondage film. If I hadn't seen this movie, I might be inclined to think the nun was supposed to be doing something other than smacking the kids' ass with a belt, at least based on this photo. I don't think I dare state what the act might be, as it may seek to further accelerate my already destined journey into Hell; if such a place existed.

3) The "New Job" at the Toy Store Montage
I unfortunately don't have a photo to go with this one, nor would any still photo do it justice. I can't even explain it, just watch the movie. The music is amazing, as is the facial expressions of Billy's boss as he recognizes his new employee's great work ethic. What acting! One of my favorite things about this scene is looking at all the X-Mas 1984 toys on display. Perhaps a testament to this movies' reputation as being anti-Christmas and anti-Christian, I found myself strangely attracted to the veritable wall of Star Wars toys in this scene. I almost felt as though the film makers were corrupting my mind by replacing the Golden Calf of Bible lore and implanting my mind with a new, better, plastic idol. I don't believe in the Lord, I believe in Jabba. Damn, how do I dream up this shit?

4) The Carolers
Just before Linnea Quigley gets her topless bod impaled on a mounted deer head, we're treated to a scene featuring some carolers outside the house. There's one girl in particular who makes some of the weirdest facial expressions I've ever seen. Look, we know you're not really singing, and the harder you try to make it look like you are, the more it looks like you have Bell's Palsy.

5) Linnea Quigley

Before she took off her clothes for us and danced on gravestones (then turned into a Zombie), Ms. Quigley took of her clothes for us and got impaled on mounted reindeer heads. Isn't it odd that this is the only murder related inclusion to the list? Besides the obvious, what makes me love this scene even more is that the new Friday the 13th film blatantly ripped it off, as I already stated in an earlier post. It's better here though. And not just because it's Linnea fuckin' Quigley.

And there you have it, 5 of my favorite things about "Silent Night, Deadly Night". Definitely check this movie out if you haven't already, because I really haven't ruined any of the plot and reading this will probably confuse the hell out of you.

Note: Despite multiple edits, I couldn't seem to get the placement and spacing for the pictures and their captions quite right. I'm still getting the hang of this.em>

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21st century rocker with a multi-track mind.


tear off your face(book)