Monday, June 15, 2009

I piss on "Twilight".

Monster Mania Con was friggin' amazing. A full recap will take place very soon.

The real reason for this post is to briefly bring up a conversation I had with my father yesterday. I stayed with him for the weekend while I went to Monster Mania and he was bringing up movie titles to see what I thought of them. My stepmother had read through the Twilight books and my dad decided to ask me what I thought of them. I said I can't stand them, at which point he rightfully asked if I'd seen the movie or read the books. Of course, I said I hadn't. At which point I am pointed out as being closed minded and judgemental. This is when I flipped out. I don't have to see or read these pieces of sludge to know there is ZERO appeal for a person like me. As someone who doesn't even really care for vampire movies in general (I think the original Dracula and Near Dark are the only ones I really like), I don't need to see much more than the trailer for Twilight to know it wouldn't interest me. Just based on what I've heard and the trailer, it sounds like a cross between an episode of Degrassi and Interview with the Vampire. William Broadbent said it best, "High School Musical for goth kids."

I don't inherently hate Twilight. It never did anything to me. I do not however like that it is at all associated with horror. The two have nothing in common. Vampires do not a horror film make. Especially not vampires with teased hair.

I'm pretty open minded when it comes to film in general. I also like some really SHITTY movies. Movies that appear that they were crafted by people with almost no knowledge of where to place a camera or light a shot. However, many of these movies have some real nuggets of greatness, especially in that many of them also feature some of the most startling and offensive gore scenes of all time. I won't try to tell you Anthropophagus is a good film, because I know it isn't. I do love it though. If you've seen it, you know why a gore fiend like me places this one up pretty high. If you haven't seen it, you probably shouldn't. The thing about films like this is that they don't try to present themselves as good films. Upon telling my father I had no interest in Twilight and don't like it almost just based on principle, he brought up that when I was a young lad, probably thirteen years old, I absolutely hated Halloween III and made it barely halfway through. Now that I'm older and have seen it all the way through multiple times, I think it's great and highly underrated, with Tom Atkins turning in a classic performance. Now my father has no dedication to Twilight, he was really just trying to get me worked up, at which he succeeded. My biggest argument to this point is that maybe when I was twelve I might have liked Twilight. It's a juvenile movie and concept. Him arguing that maybe I'd like a vapid film like Twilight and should give it a chance because I hated H3 at first when I was only into the original Halloween, the first A Nightmare on Elm Street, and stupid modern slashers like "Who gives a fuck what you did last summer" isn't a valid argument, at least not in my eyes. Granted at least the former two of those three movies are a step in the right direction (and I still love them dearly to this day), it's obvious that my horror palette wasn't particularly refined yet. If at this point I've decided that H3 is actually a cool movie and that Scream and I Know What You did Last Summer are lame and too teenagery (in a 90's way), why on Earth would I now like Twilight? My tastes don't regress.

1 comment:

  1. anthropophagus! he eats his own intestines, nuff said.


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21st century rocker with a multi-track mind.


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